Inference 101 !

1. I wouldn't eat after that two-year-old if I were you.
Inference: The two-year-old probably did something gross to the food you were
about to eat, or has a cold and you could catch it. Something bad will
happen to you if you eat it because he "I wouldn't" sounds like a
warning!

2. For Valentine’s Day, my fantastic neighbor gave his wife a poem that took him
about two seconds to write. Sheesh.

Inference: My neighbor is not very considerate since he didn't take his time
writing the poem, the text clue that led me to this decision was the
"Sheesh". People usually say "Sheesh" when they are annoyed or
frustrated.

3. A man ran after a retreating bus, waving his briefcase frantically.
Inference: I've never seen a man chasing a bus, but he would be a stupid man to chase after a bus because its very dangerous. The bus could stop and he could run into it or another car could lose control and hit him.

4. If she died, I wouldn’t go to her funeral.
Inference: Im guessing she doesnt like that person or that their feelings are hurt alot so they cant go.
5. Jake almost wished that he hadn’t listened to the radio. He went to the closet
and grabbed his umbrella even though he would feel silly carrying it to the bus
stop on such a sunny morning.

Inference: I think Jake Listened to the radio for weather and people use umbrellea's on rainy days so i think its gonna rain, so he's prepared just in case.

6. Hey! What happened to all the school construction money taken from the
taxpayers? It paid for this toilet the money was flushed down.

Inference: Its meaning is that they wasted their money on something stupid that they could of used something else on useful.
7. As you give a speech in front of a large audience, you realize that people are
laughing behind their hands and pointing to the region below your waist.

Inference: I've seen someone give a speech and their was a little kid that ran on stage and laid by the person giving the speech, so thats pretty funny.
8. No, Honey, I don’t want you to spend a lot of money on my birthday present. Just
having you for a husband is the only gift I need. In fact, I’ll just drive my
old rusty bucket of bolts down to the mall and buy myself a little present. And
if the poor old car doesn't break down, I’ll be back soon.

Inference: The women doesnt want her husband spending all his money on her, so she said if he spends a lot of money on her, she will buy her own present.
9. A woman walks into a hospital clutching her abdomen and cursing out her husband,
who trails behind her carrying a large bag.

Inference: Her water must of broke and her husband was trying to get her to the hospital and got her a bag of clothes.
10. You're driving on the highway, listening to the radio, and a police officer
pulls you over.
Inference: I've been pulled over before and the officer was looking for someone else that had the same car as my moms. Maybe he thought that they were someone else.